31 March 2013

Dear Seyi,

Something is wrong here, you need to talk to her about this. Caring for a child is difficult, being a wife is even harder. It is possible she never really wanted you to take the job in the first place but didn't want to seem like a wall to your happiness and success. She could have said yes when infact she meant no. 

There is also a possibility that she feels lonely and unhappy when you are not around and this unconsciously continues even after you get back. If her mood is low and she has lost interest in some things she enjoyed doing or complains of tiredness or weakness most times, she may be suffering from depression.

29 March 2013

Seyi's dilemma

Hi Doc, I must say I admire your courage for a blog like this. I am particularly happy that you find time to educate guys like me. My marriage is only 2 years old and I already feel what happened to Ayo and Steve is happening to my wife and I.

My name is Seyi and I am in my early 30s. I am a very busy person and work outside Lagos two weeks in a month. My wife doesn't work for now but would start soon hopefully after her casual leave is over. We have an 11 month old Infant. When I am home,I expect my wife to have missed me as much as I have missed her, but she acts as if I wasn't even gone at all. Sex has become a luxury and I am getting frustrated.

27 March 2013

Dear Ayo,

It is not strange for couples to drift apart after marriage. They become emotionally detached and get engaged in other social responsibilities like hustling and raising kids. 
I would not scold you so much but babe you fuck up big time!

I am sure that your Miss Caro looks like Wole Shoyinka's head
right now (lol). You mean all this while you let your man leave the house without shagging him silly at least two times a week? Guys that work in "reputable companies" have "reputable mistresses" too. If he knows that sex seems like a huge responsibility to you, he would find someone who can do it  for you.

While you were busy raising you son, you forgot about Steve's sexual needs and

25 March 2013

Ayo's dilemma.

Welcome to this segment of the blog where true life sexual experiences are shared and questions are answered. Please note that for confidentiality,real names will be withheld and true events modified. To share an experience, send an email to doclaitan@gmail.com. You might be contacted if additional information is required for clarification. Our first experience  is shared by a woman in desperate need of how to be more sexually appealing to her man. 

My name is Ayo (real name withheld), a 31 year old self employed woman married for 4 years with a 3 year old son. I am 5ft 9" tall, I weigh about 65kg, I am shapely and attractive. 

I own a boutique and live in Lagos with my husband Steve (real name withheld). He is an electrical engineer working with a reputable company and I must admit that we are indeed very comfortable financially. However, we have not had sex in the last 10 months, the last time we did was

24 March 2013

Alcohol and Sexual performance. SXT 111

I was travelling interstate about 2 months ago when I saw a billboard that read: "ACTION BITTERS.ESHIN LOMO.!"Na wa o. I can't seem to wrap my brain round how such mentality is passed from generation to generation, that the use of alcohol boosts your sexual performance especially unpurified spirit drinks like Alamo and ogudogba(real brand names withheld).

20 March 2013

What is Vaginismus?SXT 110

Did you guys see me on TV last thursday on LTV's morning show? You didnt watch the show? whaaaaat? Too bad,I was looking fabulously hawt(lol). I talked about depression alongside my colleague. It went well (tnx for asking).

Meanwhile,people have said my articles address more female issues than male issues. The reason is simple, women are less likely to  seek help on relationship and sex matters. We are timid and less vocal, and unfortunately when we do tell someone about our sexual problems, we are likely to be seen as promiscuous. I believe sexual problems are significant because sex is

The relationship between Obesity, Soda addiction and Sexual enjoyment. SXT 109 (Part 2; The sweet truth)


Let us move on to what we all love,sodas.Now incase you are wondering what Soda has to do with sex, I am just about to tell you.
Researchers at Harvard's School of Public Health tracked more than 91,000 women and found those who drank about a soda a day gained weight over years and increased their risk of developing type 2 diabetes by 83 percent by making them insulin resistant.

Simple reasons why you should quit soda drinks.
1. Soda Makes You Fat (Even Diet Soda) High in calories, soda has no nutritional value. They contribute to obesity and diabetes. They have also been linked to depleting the body of vitamin A, calcium and magnesium--all nutrients needed for healthy weight loss.  soda also has a profound effect on

Obesity, Soda addiction and Sexual enjoyment. SXT 109.( Part 1;The bitter truth)

Most plus size women have said they enjoy being big, bold and beautiful. In fact when I was a size 14, I didn't want to let go of the excess weight.

I enjoyed the respect it brought and the way men stared at my somtins. The only person who had a problem with it was Baba Ore (as Yoki would say, lol).
Two -ugly- toothpicks (some girls from Med school) made me loose weight, I overheard them talking about how big and unattractive i had become. When I got home that day, I looked into the mirror for the first time and didn't like what I saw. That was when I decided to loose weight and in 3 months, I became a size 8!.

No doubt that being big is considered "African" but the question is, how is your performance in the bedroom?

For ladies only.... The role of sex appeal in sexual excitement . SXT 108

Here is a typical scenario: A woman complained about her sexual relationship with her husband. She said he comes home late from work and doesn't want sex from her. She has an infant to care for and also works 9-5. Her mood has been low and she needs help saving her relationship.

Now, this problem seems huge but the solution is simple. First we have to establish the sexual orientation of the guy.  This means ensuring he isn't gay.  If he isn't, then my friend congratulations. I can't imagine being a guy and not liking "fussy"(aboki accent) lol, or as a babe I should catch my bobo in bed with another bobo!(Oghene biko). 

Secondly, does he have an erectile dysfunction? (SXT 107)

Erectile Dysfunction and Vaginal dryness. SXT 107

Where really is the MIND of a guy? The available options are brain, heart and penis. I strongly think the answer is penis. Any contrary opinion?... I didn't think so. For ladies I believe the mind is part of our brain (what did u think I'd say? I be woman na, Lool).

When a guy sees a hot babe, his mind starts to play tricks on him and as we all know, the MIND is a very POWERFUL THING (*wink, lool). In some instances, the mind of a guy might be in his brain. I have to give you this gist: we were at this “owanbe” on Saturday, suddenly my husband sustained a little cut on his finger (the truth is that we don't even know how the cut got there sef).

My guy was still showing me that madam see o, immediately this ugly cocoyam got tissue from her purse and put his hand on her lap. She applied pressure and even put plaster.
The question is, did she plan to catch a bobo that way?

19 March 2013

Loosen up and stay on with the sensate focus. SXT 106

Ever heard of the Sensate Focus? It simply means focusing on sensation. It sounds like something basic abi?  Just wait and lemme finish! First of all introduction (lol): Sensate Focus is a psychotherapy technique used to treat sexual problems like anorgasmia (in women), erectile dysfunction, and low sexual desire.

Imagine a babe that just can't have an orgasm. This is actually a common problem, the babe go just dey form ring tone for you. (I think it is now safe to tell Neeto C and Davido that the girls they wrote about in their ring tone tracks were probably faking it, lol). Did you know that one in every four sexually active women actually fake their orgasms? Yep! But really, what did you expect na?  Have you ever bothered asking her

Vals day special, no excuses please. SXT 105

What if a guy has used up all the tips I gave in SXT102 and his babe still no gree? Or this babe has gone extra lengths to get the guy's attention and the guy keeps pushing her away? In fact you wasted your energy and money on ice cream, nothing! (Don’t forget I warned you to buy cheap KFC ice cream o).

Now if you are at work, take your phone or tablet or laptop and head for a coded place like the toilet. I want to tell you the only way to get that partner of yours aroused.

Now, what you would do is Simple, beg! Beg like u have never begged before (lol), if necessary cry sef.

Seriously, you might be dealing with Sexual Aversion or Lack/Loss of Sexual Enjoyment .The good news is

15 reasons why you should have sex today SXT 104


If you have been following our topics closely you should by now be having fun with your partner (or partners lol). Just in case your partner is still forming for you I have the perfect solution. Send her a message through bbm, text, email, fax or DHL sef.  Let the message be plain and simple: 15 healthy reasons why we should make love tonight.

If this method fails, then my friendship (as my chubby colleague would say) it is unfortunate that you are on your own (lool). Shagging is not just for pleasure, it is in fact more beneficial to health than pleasurable. Imagine the following facts as you read, make sure you cram it o!!! so you can recite it from your head tonight (Lool).

 1. Pain relief. We cannot deny that we automatically forget all pain and worries during sex.

An attractive woman. SXT 103

So one day at work, a male patient grabbed a female psychiatrist(on her *you know where) and it pained me that she could not forget her hand on his face. chai! The privileges those people enjoy ehn,I am just waiting for one guy's hand to miss road, what I would do infact!(a friend beside me just said "nothing!") . But seriously, if a patient(who is supposed to be out of touch with reality) is attracted to the physical *appendages* of a woman, does this mean all men are attracted first to "what she has to offer"?

We are still talking about the first phase of sex(excitement) as related to guys. I already gave a few tips about how

Sexual Excitement, Arousal and Intimacy SXT 102

In a psych ward, we have to constantly keep patients apart from shagging each other especially the manic ones with high libido. Arousal is like a touch of the button for them, and gbam, they are in motion. Sometimes I beef them sef. Unfortunately, we cannot wish any form of psychiatric illness on our partners so I would have to share a few tips I found with u.  Let’s start with the guys.

- Look sharp "'Coz every girl is crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man,"(not some Nna knacks o) chances are that

18 March 2013

Understand Sex, don't just get in and go. SXT 101

I am almost certain you opened this link out of curiosity either because you want to understand the 4 phases of sexual intercourse or you were wondering what this woman is up to. Well, sex therapy is something that I am very well interested in and I am curious as to what people think regarding sex therapy in the country today. I am Psychiatrist with special interest in Sexuality and sexual dysfunctions. Welcome aboard!

During sex, the body undergoes a typical pattern of processes described as a build up and release of tension. These processes are described in 4 phases as excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. We all know that in the excitement stage for guys there is erection of the