15 February 2017

What do women really want? SXT 156

Here we go

I have waited almost 2 years to write again...... it's been a difficult ride. I really enjoy writing but for some personal reasons, I have had to dry my ink.  Hopefully,  this is a good time to pick up from where we stopped.

My last few posts were about tightening the congos , smelly vijayjays, delicious tasting delicacies etc. If you have not read any of my last sumtinz then u are definitely obsolete here ! 

I want to keep this "comeback" post short so we can all get on with our wet dreams or continue hugging our pillows.... whichever one applies to you.

What do you think women want from sex? Well if you ask me I would have to say intimacy and romance . But that's my post menstrual period hormonal stuff talking.  A few days ago I would have responded to that question in a disoriented state with words such as....orgasms,  convulsions, snoring,  great sex, shagging, stars, fireworks,  leg cramps from funny styles, make up sex, wild sex....you know all the dirty ideas popping into your head right now about shagging.....you know abi? ....correct chick(high5)......bad guy(child of the outside<---Translate to yoruba).

The truth is that the answer to that question depends on when the question is asked and who is asking it.

Most women just want the guy to be done quickly (sha come and do,as usual) so she can get on with her chores.

Others want to set the right mood so they can ask for stuff they need like cash.

A little percentage of women want to shag the hell out of the man to reset his brain...maybe he is feeling like the head and also the neck of the family. Real men know that women manage the home, guys just keep the balls rolling. So if you forget that women are the necks of the home, she may decide to punish you big time!

Another  small percent of women genuinely love to shag and enjoy having orgasms. Somewhere down there (keep scrolling down this blog/ or down where did you think I was referring to? ), you'd find more on this topic.

This post is just to remind you about my style of writing and who I am. Now what were you doing before now?

Miss me? Sure you did....

Doc Laitan

02 May 2015

How to make you Vagina tighter SXT 155

Before I tell you how to tighten the vagina  naturally, I should ask if you know what a "loose" vagina is.

Most people think they have a loose vagina when they stop enjoying sex, others feel they have a loose vagina when the penis goes in too freely and smoothly without any pain.

Someone said she gets too wet and her husband goes in and out too freely. He feels she's tight but she totally disagreed with him till they asked for my opinion. 

The next time you are naked but not horny, insert one finger into your vagina (this helps you to feel comfortable). Now insert two fingers into your vagina without using any lubricant. If  your fingers go in a bit too freely, then you need to tighten up. If three fingers go in very freely, then you definitely need to read this article. 

If your vagina isn't cuddly like it should be, then sexual satisfaction may be a huge problem for you and your spouse. It may hinder the most important convulsions you should be experiencing in your lifetime......ORGASM!!!

Most women who have had more than two children through the birth canal may start experiencing "loose vaginas". Ladies who enjoy inserting sexual toys too may experience this. 

There are many ways to tighten your " train station" ladies.

1.  The forever popular KEGELS EXERCISE is done by simply pretending to hold urine for a few seconds as many times as you can, about three or four times daily for up to three months . 
You can even do it while you are at your desk at work. But be careful because it can make you feel horny..... God help you if our daddy is not around and you don't know how to "drive a manual car".. ..

2. Body exercises like "squating", "butts up" and "leg up" can all stregthen your perineal muscles and firm you up.

3. Vagina "weight lifting" in  form of Vaginal Cones with attached weights may also be tried, but "kilode le to yen"? 

4. Herbal creams and vagina tightening creams are majorly ALUM based and are effective for most people. Effective for days and weeks when used but if over used, may predispose to infections .

5. Vaginal douching with a tea spoon of ALUM.
Now listen......I don't advocate for this but I have to mention it because it works for many people when done once in one or two months. It kills some naturally occurring flora in the vagina and may predispose to yeast infection which may be very difficult to treat.  It doesn't burn the vagina but may cause serious irritation if large quantities are used at once or too frequently. 

Some say they started enjoying sex after they started using alum. Well, Kegels exercise is less embarrassing, less stressful and it works.  Your spouse would even take you more seriously if it's the  Kegels method you are adopting.  You can even practice it with your spouse, Kegels works for premature ejaculation too!.

6. Surgery......Please consult your gynecologist or plastic surgeon if you have tried the above methods for up to six months without any changes. Surgery is an option.

 Noticed my new brand? I made these changes for some important reasons. Hope you like it!

Doc Laitan

03 March 2015

Honey, what's that smell? SXT 154

Imagine as a correct guy, after you get THE alert at month end, you spend lots of money on this babe; take her shopping, then movies, pizza, bowling, pick her from work at VI and drop her at home in FESTAC every day for a few days, then finally she agrees to lead you through the valley of shadow of ......On the D day, You lie to your boss that your mum is ill and need to close early to take her to the hospital. You drive from Ikeja where you work to pick her from VI where she works, check into a nice hotel at FESTAC so she can go home afterwards.

When she enters the hotel room, she's blown away with the red flower petals that lead to the lovely massive bed. She forms alot for you but after like 2 hours of begging and listening to unnecessary gists, she gives in. As a sharp guy, you quickly remove her clothes and then her panties. But as you are removing her very sexy underwear, this terrible smell fills the room. It's pungent and repugnant. .....your Mr Young immediately goes sore............That's exactly when you realise you have almost finished your salary on this babe with the smelly vagina. That's when you ask "honey, what's that smell"?

Most ladies at some point would experience awful smelling vaginal discharges or odour coming from their mountain of fire, but just like I said in SXT 152 causes of bad smells include, bad hygiene,forgotten tampons, excessive sweating, infections, cervical cancer, putting foreign objects in the vagina during sex, anal penetration before vaginal sex, and eating lots of garlic.

Ladies can avoid embarrassing situations and a maintain a good self esteem by following these advice.
1. Reduce your pubic hair, or shave it all off after your menstrual period
2. Wash with water only or unscented soap
3. Do not apply cream to the lips of the vulva or inside the vagina
4. Apply very little perfume to your mid thighs, no where close to your congo. You can also apply around your belly button. These smell trickle down to the congo without causing any irritation
5. Please avoid douching
6 . Avoid hot baths
7. Do not repeat same underwear after 24 hours
8. Pay close attention to your diet. Refer to SXT 152
9 . Always wipe from front to back if you use wipes
10."Dab" and not wipe or rinse after going for a pee

Keep reading,
Cheers Doc Laitan

01 February 2015

The delicious Red Velvet cake; What the vagina should taste like SXT 153

I saw a lovely lady  a few days ago, her toe nails were well done, she had long legs, a cute behind, a small waist, she wore a sleeveless green top with a very short skirt. She caught my attention most especially because she wore her hair short exactly like mine. I was tempted to smile and say hi but then a tall guy came to meet her and she had to raise her arms to hug him......and that's when I saw it........the colonial era!!!!......it was a garden! I could have sworn I saw onions, carrots and green pepper in there. It was not just over grown, it looked dirty. In 2015?, come on! All I could think of was; Babe, if you have a garden up here, do you have rain forest down there?

Most people don't know that on a normal day, the congo tastes like a sweaty-hairy-armpit! Most people don't prepare to have sex or have their congos eaten up, it just happens. So there is no preparation,  no impromptu bathe,  no quick wiping, nothing.....When a man wants to eat your congo, He wants to eat your congo! It's just like when you need to pee, you just need to go. I don't think you can stop in the middle of the urges and hormones to say " ehm, baby, give me a minute. I need to go wash up my "puzzy" just in case you are hungry". On the second thought, maybe.

Basically, ladies need to be prepared always. Your vagina shouldn't taste like a dirty smelly armpit, it should always have its slightly salty and faintly sweet taste. The  taste is mostly from your vaginal secretions,the salty taste is also added from sweat while the little sweet taste is modified by fruits and diet you have had that day. A little percentage of the sweet taste is from urine that would have trickled down the urether and  urine on your panties. Have you started feeling disgusted yet? Let's leave that decision to the men. Don't worry, no matter how horrible it tastes,  a horny man's brain is already rewired so that he doesn't even notice, his Mr Young is in control at thetime #MrYoungforpresident2015

Unfortunately, a lady should care about how her vagina tastes (not because of our inate lesbian tendencies)
These are the facts you need to know;

1. Follow the advice in the previous posts regarding how your vagina should look and smell like (SXT 151 and 152)
2. Ensure a clean shave or reduce your pubic hair to the barest minimum, don't just shave the front hair, shave the hinges ( where the inner thigh joins the genital area)
3. If you sense you might get lucky, don't take alcohol or cigarette.  They make the taste sour
4. Avoid raw onions and garlic, or excess cooked garlic
5. Some drugs tastes and smell in your congo, ampiclox for example
6. Most fruits make the vagina tastes nicer, especially pineapples, strawberries and bananas
7. Some authors have said coffee makes the congos smell and taste sour or bitter
8. Excess sweat makes the congos taste salty

If you want your congo to taste like the delicious red velvet cake, get the cake (my favourite is from Cakes and Cream Lagos) eat just a serving then ask him later how nice it tasted. #wink...I am sure you would try it

Keep eating fruits,  Doc Laitan says cheers. Follow on twitter @doclaitan, like my facebook page Doc Laitan

13 January 2015


When he puts his face to your congo/genital area, he should feel high.........He should become delusional and believe he is walking in a beautiful garden that smells like roses. Can you boast of having a congo that smells so good and would keep a man yours forever and disgusted by every other congos? I call this magical congo the  witchescongos.

Quickie A witchescongo is a congo that makes a man whisper "my precious"....... in Smeagol's voice. A congo that signs blank cheques ..A congo that looks as beautiful as it smells.

I have smelt somethings in my life,  doctors are trying.....Obstetrics/ gynecology, general medicine and surgery postings in med school and during intership, sometimes as a psychiatrist, and now finally, everytime....as a sexologist.
So believe me when I say the odour of the female congo varies alot but generally, it has a strong lingering distinctive odour.

Quickie Mr Young(the penis) smells like manure if a guy has been at work all day especially wearing tight pants . Don't expect a blow job(bj), most ladies readily offer a bj after he takes a bath.

If you want to know what your original congo smell is, take a shower without soap, rinse your congo well, then wait for about 30 minutes. The discharge should be a bit concentrated enough to be appreciated. Put your finger in and around your congo(don't get carried away), and then bring it to your nose. Later in the day, sweat and diet could have changed the odour, so do this in the morning.

Immediately after sex, the vaginal smell is very concentrated depending on how wet you were during sex.

Quickie Sex may be painful for women during harmattan, so lubrication is key to avoid micro vaginal tears which may cause pain for weeks.

The menstrual cycle also dictates the smell of the congo and this varies for different women,  the smell may range from odourless, little smell or a concentrated odour a few days before your peroid, to "babe how far" a few days after the period when a woman is expected to be very horny.

The more you try using perfumes and scented cream and soap around your congo to achieve good smell and cleanliness, the more irritation and infections you are likely to have,and this can be really smelly .

If you have noticed a fish smelling odour, you most likely have an infection. Some infections however are odourless, but may cause itching and pain.

Other causes of bad smells include, bad hygiene,forgotten tampons, excessive sweating, infections, cervical cancer, putting foreign objects in the vagina during sex(you would be surprised what people insert into their vaginas for pleasure),  anal penetration before vaginal sex, and eating lots of garlic (better believe it).

How do you get your vagina to smell like a rose garden? Very simple steps.....
1. Reduce your pubic hair, or shave it all off after your menstrual period
2. Wash with water only or unscented soap. Avoid over-washing. When you do, you disrupt the normal bacteria living in that area and cause an imbalance, thus giving room for other bacteria to cause infections.
3. Do not apply cream to the lips of the vulva or inside the vagina
4. Apply very little perfume to your mid thighs,  no where close to your congo. You can also apply around your belly button. These smell trickle down to the congo without causing any irritation.
5. Please avoid douching
6 . Avoid hot baths #guiltyofthisone
7. Do not repeat underwear, discard old underwear. The rule is to discard every 6months if you have at least 10 panties.
8. Pay close attention to your diet;
Excess sugar is said to cause or worsen yeast infection
Strawberries and vanilla may linger in your body secretions and hence give your congo a sweet smell
Avoid excess or raw garlic
Taking yoghourt is great for a healthy vagina and smell
Eating fruits are generally good for the smell of body fluids including vaginal discharges
9 . Always wipe from front to back if you use wipes
10.I advice ladies to "dab" and not wipe or rinse after going for a pee.

I hope you have learnt something new, keep reading DLSB, follow on twitter @doclaitan ......cheers.

01 January 2015

SXT 151 The smelly vagina

Hi........Doc Laitan is back! !!!!!!!! The one and only Sexologist you know, the THIS, the THAT...Enough of my grandiosity, but you cannot deny that you have missed me.....I have missed blogging too! . Last year was so busy that I couldn't blog at all. Well, I am back and you can expect regular posts like before.

My personal person Mariam suggested this topic and those that know her would agree Mariam can be likened to a tall glass of San Antonio (for those that appreciate good wine, too bad she's not single). Well, she suggested this topic because she thought most ladies would enjoy reading it (since we own the vagina). Well, I think men would enjoy reading about it more since they are the notorious ones in the pussy eating biz.......lets talk sex...

I would discuss this topic in 4 parts, so be sure not to miss out on any.
Part 1; The beautiful pink lady (What the vagina/vulva should look like)
Part 2; The rose garden (What the vagina should ideally smell like)
Part 3; Delicious red velvet (what the vagina should taste like)
Pary 4; Honey! what's that smell? (The smelly vagina)

Are you ready for 2015? Oya na....enjoy reading

I hope you know that what you see on the outside is called the vulva while the "hole" is actually the vagina, so i would like you to always use appropriate terms when referring to your genitalia, but for fun sake, lets just call it the "congo".

I am almost certain that most women have never picked a mirror to really look at what their congo looks like. Some ladies don't like what they see, and some would even say they couldn't care less what it looks like as long as it does the job it is meant to do . Well, if the congo is just a passage way for a baby, then you dont have to be concerned about what "she" looks like, but if sex is a major activity for you and you are interested in good sexual health, then you should be interested in what she looks like.

The first picture is that of the Bisi's vulva with an intact hymen(a virgin), the next is a picture of Iya Bisi's vulva.(really expecting full naked women? really?)

The colour of the inner areas are pink while the external areas are brown. Pallor(blood hemoglobin level) can also be assessed by how pink the vulva is, but I am sure guys won't start using this as a pick up line ; Hi babe, you look pale, lemme check your vulva just to be sure you don't need a doctor!

The hymen is a thin fold round the vagina seen before the first sexual encounter although it may be absent in some people. On the outer part, the most sensitive part of the congo is the part where the labia minora meets at the upper part. Ladies that enjoy masturbation usually target this area and men also "deliver" by gently stroking or kissing this area. The g spot is also a very sensitive part inside the female genitalia, but we would discuss about the g spot at another time.

The genital area should be looked at monthly by yourself, the same way you look and examine your boobs. This is called the genital/vulva/vaginal self examination. This enables you to be familiar with what is normal and early signs of abnormalities like infections, warts or cancer. To do this, rest your back on at least 2 firm pillows and be semi prone at about 45 degrees, have a mirror resting againt another pillow opposite you at an angle that you can see your vulva in the mirror. Once you are comfortable, look from outside inwards, then put your middle(longest) finger into your vagina to be familiar with what is normal....HEY.....DO NOT GET CARRIED AWAY AT THIS POINT.....This is a medical check up, lol .

Before looking at yourself, ensure a clean shave . I usually advise that after your menstrual period, you shave and take a good look and feel of yourself.....#ourdaddyisintroubletonight, lol.

Looking at your congo helps to build your confidence level and self esteem, you need to love what you see and understand what turns him on by just looking at it. Did you know that the first step to sexual enjoyment is loving your body and the power that lies in the beautiful pink lady between your thighs ? Vaginal self examination also helps to know your genitalia and be aware of early treatable problems like infections and cancer. Be self aware, love your body, love sex and remain faithful to your partner always.

Happy new year everyone, keep reading DLSB.

15 June 2014

Common male sexual problems SXT 150

It's been 6 months, yep! A busy year this has been, and I mean BUSY.....I didn't even know about "Dorobucci" until about 2 weeks ago, now it's the only song I want to hear...#beefdoroanddie# loooool
But guess who's back?! The first thing I did was to reply over 300 emails in the past one week, so peeps, sorry all responses were late and precise.

Happy new year, happy birthdays, happy Valentines day, happy Easter celebration and everything I have missed.....but most of all, sorry about Dora, keffy and the kidnap of the Chibok girls.

Most of the emails I got were from men complaining about premature ejaculation and watery semen, so I would use this medium to also ask you to get in touch by sending an email to doclaitan@gmail.com to book an appointment to commence therapy (weekday evenings and weekends only).

With his permission, here is an email from one of my blog readers;

Giwa(real name witheld):
"My wife and I have been married for 12 years and we have a child. We would like to have more children. My observation is that after the birth of my son, my sperm became very watery and it comes out of her almost immediately after we finish. As if that isn't bad enough, I don't last up to 3 or 5 minutes maximum before I let go. She has told me to get help and believes that is why she isn't pregnant. What do I do, I guess from your articles, I have watery sperm , premature ejaculation and maybe infertility. We are presently trying IVF for a baby, but that can't help my sex performance and problem. How can you help me Sir?"

I hate to disappoint you. ..."sir" but I am a female psychosexual physician ...... #oops!

I can only imagine how low your confidence level must be because of these problems. Sexual performance reduces with age and picks up again later, expect it. The good news is that I can help investigate the watery semen and premature ejaculation so that I can suggest treatment options and begin treatment as soon as possible. I can't help much with the fertility problem much but let's hope things get better with improved semen constituency.

Meanwhile, what is happening in Nja? too much chaos, politics and terrorism. DocLaitan is back, tell your personal person!

29 April 2014

SXT 149 Sexuality tips for the new year

Happy holidays people, it's been indeed a sexy year filled with hardness, wetness, less friction, sweats, screams, moans, stripping and lots of inappropriate shagging positions #wink.

Real gist.....so as usual I was craving for ice cream and so I dragged uncle to Coldstone creamery, next to me was a beautiful lady all dressed up, nice hair, nice clothes, nice bobo too! I was beginning to feel uncomfortable beside this goddess when she suddenly opened her mouth to place her order and said (in her words)"BARMAN, gif me half hof this, half hof this, I really don't like to DRINK icecream" #no comments, walking away.......

I'd like to end this year on my blog by sharing few tips that could help improve your sexuality in the coming year.

First, I thought it would be nice to change your diet plans in the new year and since it is the holiday season, you can try new eating habits that would increase your libido. Some specific groups of food have been shown to increase libido directly or indirectly. These include celery , avocados,vitamin C enriched fruits like peaches, oranges, mangoes, bananas, berries like blueberries and strawberries, oysters, almonds and nuts generally, icecream and chocolate for ladies,figs,spinach,eggs,red wine, fish and salmond, and ofcourse oatmeal.

Secondly, for ladies, make a daring statement with your looks! Do something different with your face, clothing style or hair. Always work towards looking younger, every year look at least 2 years younger. Wear what's nice and trendy, take cues from TV presenters and friends. Look neat, cute and very very sexy! For guys, look smart, wear appropriate shirt and suit sizes, keep your hair low and your shoes uncracked.

Thirdly, make time for a work out routine e.g 30 minutes of dance routine every morning (with ear phones and comfortable clothes), this is guaranteed to keep you looking trim and sexy. Don't forget to shag after exercise, this is guaranteed to keep you smiling all day!

Lastly, find time to hang out with people close to you; friends, colleagues, family....talk about your worries, smile about your misfortunes and kiss away the pain, HAPPY NEW YEAR readers hugs and kisses.

20 February 2014

Hi guys,

I am temporarily unavailable to reply emails or take calls, blogging and consultations would resume in June 2014. Sorry for all inconveniences

16 December 2013

Sex addiction SXT 148

Sex addiction isn't just having too much sex, it is a serious problem in which one engages in persistent and increasing patterns of sexual behavior despite increasing negative consequences to one's self or others.