31 March 2013

Dear Seyi,

Something is wrong here, you need to talk to her about this. Caring for a child is difficult, being a wife is even harder. It is possible she never really wanted you to take the job in the first place but didn't want to seem like a wall to your happiness and success. She could have said yes when infact she meant no. 

There is also a possibility that she feels lonely and unhappy when you are not around and this unconsciously continues even after you get back. If her mood is low and she has lost interest in some things she enjoyed doing or complains of tiredness or weakness most times, she may be suffering from depression.


Communication is important here, you can believe you have talked about it but in reality you haven't addressed the real issue of how she feels.Give her a treat and concentrate on her mood rather than your sexual urges. It may take a lot to get her to open up but with patience you should be able to. If that doesn't break the ice, then apologising might help. Assume you have wronged her and pick up from where she wants.

It wouldn't be wrong to ask her close friend or confidant (if she has one) what the problem might be. In the past, our mothers believed all problems in a home should stay in the home but research has shown that a woman who lacks social support and some one to share her problems with outside the home is a candidate for depression. If she has someone she talks to then she could have said one or two things that might help.

The first thing is to get her talking and you will be surprised at what you will find, she could have even developed sexual aversion disorder (SXT 105). When eventually you find out what is wrong, don't assign blame to any one, find a solution and keep her happy.  A happy woman is fun in bed. Cheers.

Doc Laitan