As important as sex is to most people, in a developing country like ours where stress itself is a killer of "mojo", sex becomes irrelevant to most couples. Reduced intimacy time, reduction in sexual activities, and excessive hustling can be major causal factors of sexual dysfunctions. The truth is that our daily schedules can be tiring but at the same time you should look forward to having quality time with your spouse in bed (or floor, bathroom, or any other place......your kids must not catch you sha !).
If you have a tedious job and your day is almost always stressful, take time out to make love as little as once a week to balance your immunity and body's protective system. The effects of stress on the body are numerous, but simply put, stress shortens your life expectancy by increasing the risk of various serious medical conditions.
You should be aware that the mind and the body are connected so tightly that psychological stress can cause most physical illnesses including muscle aches, hypertension and its complications(stroke, kidney problems, heart attack etc), skin problems like acne, diabetes, and a chronic tired state with low immunity causing repeated sicknesses.
Stress particularly is the most common cause of almost all sexual dysfunctions for which no physical disorder can be found. Some effects of stress on sexual well being include the following
. Reduced libido and sexual drive
.Increased risk of genital infections and frequent vaginal discharges in females
.Irregularities in hormonal, menstrual and ovulatory cycle which may predispose to infertility in both sexes
.Abnormal mood states leading to reduced trust and intimacy in relationships
.Poor sexual performance like premature ejaculation, vaginal dryness and pain during sex
. Alcohol and other psychoactive substance abuse which further impairs emotional and sexual behaviors
. Poor sleep and disruption of mental balance, leading to irritable mood, sadness, reduced libido and impaired intimacy
.Low self esteem and confidence level, thus poor sexual performance and associated guilt
Most people that seek help for their various sexual dysfunctions usually attribute the onset of the problem to a stressful period in their lives, and with stress management tips, they may not even require medications to get back on track. An easy stress management /relaxation tip is a mind relaxation exercise I like to teach. This is the Doc Laitan's FIST-AND-EYE RELAXATION METHOD(FARM). The steps are;
1. Be alone in a relaxed position, like on a chair or bed but with your head thrown backwards and your legs elevated (if sitting).
2. Shut your eyes and makes two fists with your hands on your laps (if sitting) or beside you (if lying on the bed).
3. Think about all activities that have stressed you or made you angry during the day or past week or months.
4. Begin to shut your eyes tighter as you think deeply about these activities
5. Clench your fists tightly too at the same time
6. Increase the intensity of the fist clenching and eyes shutting
7. Suddenly, release the fists and close your eyes only lightly as you start to think about things that make you happy, ,positive things that have happened during the day or week.
8. Open your mouth and breath in gently as many times as you can
9. Fall asleep if you like
10. Open your eyes and smile.
Do this once daily early before getting up, or at night before bed. During extremely stressful periods, practise it about 3 times daily. Don't let stress ruin your sexuality and sex life, manage your stress adequately. I recommend sex at least twice a week for continued intimacy, stress relief and romance in any relationship.
If you have tried managing stress on your own without any luck, that is, you start developing serious sleep problems, anxiety related or mood symptoms, please talk to a psychiatrist or your doctor.
If you would like deeper relaxation techniques and one-on-one therapy session, send enquiries to doclaitan@gmail.com.
