Domestic violence in a relationship is any form of abuse in which torture is inflicted from one partner to another in the form of emotional abuse,sexual abuse, verbal or physical aggression. The violent partner can be male or female although more commonly, males are the violent abusers. The most common type of abuse is emotional abuse and it is less commonly reported.
These are examples of domestic violence scenarios;
1.Imagine a man that comes home to a woman who has a list of insults waiting for him; worthless man, impotent man, one-minute man, mummy's boy, poor man etc... This goes on for hours till she retires to bed, leaving him hungry and frustrated.
2.Imagine a woman whose opinion isn't relevant in her home. Her husband gets home, his food is served, a warm bath awaits his excellency, she has to be naked in bed with a wet vagina, she is bent into any position he wants(like wax), moaning is prohibited, when he is tired of the vagina he uses the anus. When he is done, she goes to the bathroom to clean up, dry her tears and wear a smile.
3.Imagine a man who gets home late and drunk, requests for a difficult-to-cook meal and sex. Throws up on her just as he climaxes and sleeps off instantly.
Why most abused women stay in such relationships isn't difficult to imagine.
1.The Nigerian culture doesn't embrace single parenthood, most informed women that leave such relationships are stigmatized even by their own social circles. 2.Some women stay because they want their children to be raised in a complete family setup, not realising that the marriage is hers not the children's own because eventually they would grow up and leave her at the mercy of the abusive man.
3.Some women stay in such unhealthy relationship because they are scared to leave. They are scared of the abusive partner, scared of rejection by the community and their families.
4.Some women stay because they think such is the trend in every home as they have been told by their mothers, sisters or friends that may have also suffered the same fate.
5. Some women stay and endure the violence because they have no other means of financial and security sustainability. The bread winner is the assualter and her only family in most cases. Most abused women would admit to believing they had no confidant besides their partner who was also assaulting her.
Abused people hardly take charge and leave, even the ones that do usually end up with guilt and depression. Those that seek help or are rescued are helped through series of psychotherapy sessions and medications (for those depressed). Eventually with dedication and good social support, they are able to trust again and move on with life.
If you are being abused, please speak up and get help. If you aren't being abused, take your spouse out today and show them a good time.
Cheers, Doc Laitan
