18 April 2013

Dear Toun,

I am not a fan of a lady managing a guy just because she feels can't get someone better, when in fact the guy probably wouldn't do the same. Something must have attracted you to  him in the first place and I am sure you also like somethings about him. If you aren't sure if you like him that much, write down all you like and dislike about him then compare the list. If the likes outweigh the dislikes, then keep reading....

As a woman, the success of the sexual relationship is in your hands. You are the judge of the direction that your sex life faces while he is in charge of financial security in the relationship. Men love sex, but not all of them! 

You said he is stiff, scared, emotionless and likes quick sex (or might even have premature ejaculation).
As for the stiffness, that most likely would change later if the sex changes. When your body becomes a constant distraction for him and he can't wait to get home and eat you up! 

He grew up in a seminary or schooled there at some point in his life, it is possible he was exposed to homosexuality or his libido has been psychologically altered. This means sex is not the primary thing on his mind. 

Sometimes, loneliness may accompany living in places like the seminary, so he probably loves you alot but he has adjusted to being by himself, hence he can truly be scared and emotionless. So be patient and teach him how to love you.

As per the sex, men that have quick sex 60% of the time are self centered or lazy. Sex should last between 5-30 minutes, any thing shorter is a quickie or the guy has premature ejaculation. A man should first satisfy a woman's sexual urges before thinking about his own, but like I said in SXT 101, some men are egocentric and would rather just get in, do and go. You would have to show him what you want him to do to you and how you like to be touched. If you are inexperienced, then you will benefit from sex tapes, books and even cunnilingus in SXT 112.

Enough of the preamble, go back to read SXT 108 and try those tips. Also read "Dear Ayo",  I shared a few tips there too. 
You need to change your look, your body image and show more affection. During sex, when he is about to "come",stop it the way I described in Premature ejaculation SXT 114. 

You need to be firm when talking about your sexual needs, let him know that you are willing to solve every problem with him, but most importantly let him know how you feel about him.


To share an experience or dilemma, Send an email to doclaitan@gmail.com. Names, age and regions would be changed for confidentiality.